People come to me because they want change.
They’ve had enough of feeling overwhelmed and that life is just happening to them.
They want to feel stronger and more confident in their own abilities, to feel that they have more control of themselves. They want to step into who they want to become.
I use Solution Focused Brief therapy (SFBT) to help my clients step into who they want to become fast.
Why is it good that SFBT is outcome focused ?
Imagine that work was so busy that you missed lunch and on your way home, you’re ravenous. You happen to walk past an Italian restaurant. You can smell the garlic bread and see how people inside are eating delicious pasta (this is pre-Covid). This is just too much for your aching tummy, so you go inside and get seated immediately by a lovely waiter.
Would you want your waiter to:
A) Spend time asking you how hungry you are and why you became this hungry? Tell you how to avoid becoming this hungry? Then take your order?
B) Take your order? And get your garlic bread fast!
Our brains are wired for stories
We are sense-making beings. We interpret everything that happens to us through our experiences and perceptions. We remember events by linking them into stories. The stories we create become our identity and our lives. Our brains are literally wired for stories.
SFBT helps to move clients from a problem story to a story about possibilities and capabilities.
Clients come to me because they wish to become something new. People often believe they must fix faulty thinking and feeling first though before they can move towards their preferred future.
But you can just go straight to your preferred future because our brains are not fixed circuit machines. If they were, then of course fixing a malfunction in your mind would make it run smoothly again. NB There are exceptions to this *.
Every time you think something new, the neurons in your brain connect in a new way
Our memories are incredibly flexible; they’re not stored in a video or book library in your brain. Instead, they are like little snippets of information that are assembled each time you look back. You actually recreate your memories each time you look for them depending on the viewpoint you’re coming from.
If we look for reasons for why things don’t work, your brain will find those. We all have times when things didn’t work or when we were unhappy with something.
If we look for reasons for why something worked, we will find those too for the same reasons.
Your brain will connect those snippets that you searched for and give you a new slant on that memory (and sometimes totally new “memories” – false memories are a massive consideration when e.g. interviewing witnesses or during older style therapy).
Trying to go back and understand why you felt and thought in a certain way before will therefore not give you facts, but instead your perception of that event right now at this moment.
“Neurons that wire together, fire together”
- NeuroScience saying
Because the brain rewires itself with every new thought we have and throughout our entire lives, we can go straight to thinking new thoughts that help us. This is what Solution Focused Brief therapy (SFBT) does.
SFBT and hypnosis are based on extensive practice, research and neuroscience to help achieve change fast.
Hope is key to change
Hope is at the heart of making any changes. It is also essential for coping with hard circumstances. How much hope you feel can be situational, how you perceive your situation, and it can go up and down at times.
Hope is much more than optimism or a dream; it is what drives us forward. Hope theory discusses that hope consists of having something you want to achieve, actions towards reaching that outcome and a belief that you can do it. Hope opens us up to new thoughts, to new feelings, to new directions.
A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicoloured light in various directions. It lifts our spirits and makes us think of what is possible.
Hope is the same – a personal rainbow of the mind.
-Charles Snyder, psychologist and prominent hope researcher
Extensive research shows that hope is strongly correlated with greater physical and psychological well-being, improved self-esteem, enhanced relationships, and protects against anxiety, lowers stress, and much more.
Solution Focused therapy - the language of hope
When a client comes to me, I know they have hope. It may be just a small flicker they’re hardly aware of or it may be strong. But without hope they wouldn’t turn up at all.
In an SF session, we work on increasing that hope. Making it more visible. More tangible. We explore your best hopes. We look at the strengths, resources and abilities you already have. What your best hopes look like in real life. And more.
I use hypnosis afterward because it strengthens and reinforces all that work faster and with less effort than using only your conscious mind.
What is SFBT not:
It is not about avoiding problems; it’s about focusing on what you want instead. And finding ways to make that a reality. It’s about being constructive.
It’s not about avoiding negative thoughts. Uncomfortable and painful emotions show us what we want to change. This can be very useful. But you don’t need to analyse the ins and outs of why you have them – use them to figure out what you want and work on that.
It’s not about only thinking happy thoughts. Trying to force yourself to only think happy thoughts can be a way to avoid dealing with those uncomfortable emotions that can help you grow. I think of thoughts and emotions as helpful or not.
It’s not about goals; that’s far too narrow and restrictive. For example, a goal could be to get that dream job. In SFBT, you’d focus on what difference having that job would make in your life. This opens up so many more options on how to get there, and importantly gets to the heart of what’s important to you.
It’s not about diagnosis; SFBT explores ways forward.
Solution Focused Brief therapy can help you feel more energised and alive. Connected to your hopes and preferred future. That you can and you will.
Free Relaxation download:
If you want to feel more relaxed now, then download my free relaxation “Take a Break”. Allow yourself to release some of that stress and anxiety. It’s short to fit easily into your day. All you need to do is enter your name and email address below, get comfortable and give yourself 12 minutes to shift your mind into a calmer space.
NB Do not use while driving or doing anything that requires your attention.
Enjoy :)
Lena x
There are times when you do need to see your GP. If you have thoughts of harming yourself contact your doctor immediately. There are underlying problems for which you may need medical help. There is also neurodiversity which may require medical help. If you are in any doubt, seek medical help.